


To See (You Have to Look)

by mean_whale



Series: Blind Spot [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Developing Relationship, Fights, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Insecurity, Kissing, M/M, Name-Calling, Nipples, Past Relationship(s), Rimming, Roommates, Slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 13:42:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8403871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mean_whale/pseuds/mean_whale
Summary: Oikawa and Iwaizumi have been dating for a month when Iwaizumi's insecurities catch up with him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this can be read as a separate fic, but you do get a lot of background info from the previous fic.

Oikawa moaned, back arching more as he pushed his ass towards Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi’s fingers were dancing over his skin, fingertips sliding over the twitching pink entrance. He had been teasing Oikawa for a while, taking his time to learn how the other man worked, what spots made him whine into the pillow, and what kind of touch made his body shudder. He wanted to remember every nook and cranny of Oikawa’s form, the way his shaved parts felt when they started to grow a coarse stubble.

Iwaizumi bent closer, a gentle playful bite to Oikawa’s buttock before he licked over the puckered hole and sucked hard.

“Ah, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa moaned, hips swaying enticingly. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

Iwaizumi grunted in response.

“No need to rub it in,” he said before licking over the hole again.

“I’m just joking,” Oikawa singsonged.

 _He’s just joking_ , Iwaizumi thought to himself and his heart sank.

Most of the time he was able to keep the unnecessary feelings at bay, but suddenly they came flooding back. He felt sick, frozen in place, hands still on Oikawa’s ass, spreading it open for him to use.

 _Just joking with everyone else_ , he thought before getting up from the bed and leaving the room.

“Iwa-chan!” he heard Oikawa call, but he didn’t stop before he had locked the bathroom door behind him, back leaning against the cold surface.

_What if he’s just playing with me?_

It was a familiar question to him, one that he had been trying to push away ever since it appeared, one that wouldn’t leave no matter how many times he went over it. He wasn’t the first guy Oikawa was seeing. He wasn’t the first love, he wasn’t the only one. Oikawa had started all his relationships as a serious thing, hadn’t he? What would make him any different?

Iwaizumi let his body slide down to the floor. He felt heavy, stomach turning like there was a storm inside him, and he heard Oikawa stride towards the room.

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa called and knocked on the door.

The rattle echoed in Iwaizumi’s spine.

_What makes me any more special?_

“Iwa-chan, what’s wrong?” Oikawa asked. “Did you not want to do that? Do you want to bottom instead? It’s fine if you do, I just thought-”

Iwaizumi pressed his hands over his ears to not hear what Oikawa said. He could still hear the distant rumble of Oikawa’s voice, but couldn’t make out the words. His legs were shaking.

Every little detail that had bothered him was now coming back full force, evidence of his worst fears. Why didn’t Oikawa want to sleep in his bed? Why hadn’t they gone out on a real date? Why wouldn’t Oikawa hold his hand in public?

He knew that Oikawa wasn’t shy about things like that. He had seen Oikawa with that one guy, holding hands everywhere and stealing kisses when they thought that no one could see. They were always physically close to each other, always somehow attached to each other, and it had been one of the hardest relationships for Iwaizumi to stomach. If he really put his mind to it, he could still hear the way Oikawa moaned when they fucked in Oikawa’s room, completely oblivious to the fact that Iwaizumi had come home earlier than planned.

So why, when his fingers brushed Oikawa’s as they walked together, didn’t Oikawa take a hold of his hand?

 _He’s going to break my heart_ , Iwaizumi thought, tears burning his eyes without his permission. The door rattled behind him, Oikawa’s voice getting higher and louder, the banging making Iwaizumi lean his head down. He was sitting on the bathroom floor. There was no lower he could possibly sink. This is how low Oikawa had gotten him.

After forever Oikawa gave up. Iwaizumi still had his ears covered so he didn’t know if Oikawa had simply shut up or left. He sat on the floor until it started hurting his butt. Slowly he lowered his hands away. There was silence in the apartment.

By a lucky coincidence Iwaizumi had just done the laundry so he had a fresh pair of underwear to put on, as well as a shirt and socks. He pulled on a pair of jeans that was still waiting to be washed but not impossibly filthy, and softly he opened the door.

Oikawa was nowhere to be seen. Iwaizumi quietly made his way to the door, putting on shoes when Oikawa suddenly appeared beside him.

“Where are you going?” Oikawa asked, voice raw.

“A walk,” Iwaizumi said, and with that he was gone.

He didn’t know where to go. He had nowhere to go, so he simply walked, knowing full well that it wouldn’t get rid of his thoughts or solve his problems. In spite of that he walked until he reached the university. He walked through the campus to the library. He couldn’t believe he had gone such a long distance. He was exhausted and sat down in a quiet corner.

He thought. It must have taken him more than an hour to get there. He was exhausted. What would Oikawa say if he knew?

Iwaizumi shook his head but it was too late. He was thinking about Oikawa again. The more he thought about it the clearer it became to him that Oikawa was only playing him. The signs were all there, warning him about getting too involved. It was late, of course; he had been involved even before Oikawa’s sudden confession. He should have kept his mouth shut, let Oikawa down and continue with his life, maybe even get over his stupid crush as he would have to watch Oikawa date numerous other people.

Maybe it was his own fault. He wasn’t good enough for Oikawa. He should have been someone better, someone up at Oikawa’s level. It was his own fault for falling in love and then trying to achieve the impossible – dating Oikawa. He had seen up close how Oikawa’s relationships ended up being short, and he knew it was because none of the people had been the right kind, the kind that would allow Oikawa to grow freely, nurture his talents and skills, and he was no better.

Iwaizumi sighed. He was exhausted and it was getting late. He should go back, but at least he wouldn’t have to walk.

It took a moment for him to realise that he had left everything home – keys, phone, wallet, everything. He slapped himself on the forehead and headed home, dragging his feet on the way. Maybe if he was slow enough the truth would flip, and once he got home everything would be fine again. Maybe he would slip into an alternative reality where he was the right person for Oikawa. Maybe he would find a dimension where he wasn’t so in love with his best friend.

It took him even longer to walk back because he kept intentionally slowing down, occasionally stopping to shake his head as if it would help him get his thoughts in order. Now Iwaizumi stood in front of their door, had already stood there for a long time. It was late, it was dark, and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to go in. He could go ask Matsukawa if he could stay there, but it would be rude to not call first, especially because of the time. Hanamaki lived too far away for him to walk there. He could stand outside all night, wait for the morning, and when Oikawa left he could sneak in.

 _Stop being stupid_ , he told himself. He had to face the facts, so he softly knocked on the door, a big part of him hoping that Oikawa wouldn’t hear it, while a bigger part of him couldn’t help but want to see Oikawa again.

It only took seconds before the door swung open, and Iwaizumi was greeted by teary-eyed Oikawa.

“Iwa-chan,” he cried out and flung himself to Iwaizumi, who instinctively caught him.

“Quiet,” Iwaizumi hushed him and quickly stepped inside. “You’re disturbing the neighbours.”

“But Iwa-chan,” Oikawa sobbed. “I was so worried about you! You didn’t have your phone with you and you were gone for so long!”

Oikawa was clinging to him even as he took off his shoes.

“I’m sorry, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa continued, crying against Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

“Why?” Iwaizumi asked, patting Oikawa’s back.

Oikawa felt real, his emotions felt real, and Iwaizumi felt really stupid for thinking that Oikawa would be anything but honest with him.

“I must have done something wrong,” Oikawa said with a sniffle. “I’m sorry, Iwa-chan! Please, forgive me!”

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi said, causing Oikawa to lift his head up and look at him. “You did nothing wrong. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Then why-?” Oikawa started but his question was cut short by Iwaizumi kissing him.

Oikawa let out a whine before relaxing, clinging closer to Iwaizumi and opening his mouth for his tongue. Oikawa’s hair was soft to the touch, his scent familiar and body heat reassuring. Iwaizumi allowed himself to get lost in the kiss, get lost in the way Oikawa was holding his head close, fingers in his hair and shoulders. He pushed Oikawa against the wall, the impact eliciting a quiet noise from Oikawa who was raising his leg to pull Iwaizumi closer, closer. Iwaizumi took a hold of Oikawa’s thighs, pushing him even tighter to the wall as Oikawa lifted both of his legs up and wrapped them around Iwaizumi’s hips. Their groins were lined perfectly, Oikawa’s cock already getting erect, and it was amazing how sensitive the man was.

Iwaizumi hadn’t felt so strong in a long time, holding Oikawa up in the air, hips grinding against the awakening erection and tongue licking into Oikawa’s mouth as if fucking him. He squeezed Oikawa’s ass with his hands and Oikawa moaned into the kiss.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa panted right into Iwaizumi’s ear as he started kissing down Oikawa’s neck. “Please, more.”

Iwaizumi grunted and pushed his hips against Oikawa once more before lowering him down, hands immediately pulling his shirt off as Oikawa opened Iwaizumi’s jeans, fingers sliding sensually over the bulge. When Oikawa was finally standing completely naked in front of him, Iwaizumi wasted no time kissing him again, tongue pushing into his mouth and hands finding their way to his ass, fingers teasing the cheeks apart to rub over the most sensitive areas. Oikawa’s hands were fists on Iwaizumi’s shirt, forgotten there before he could take it off. Oikawa leaned back to angle his hips differently, allowing Iwaizumi to stroke over his entrance from the front.

“We need lube,” Iwaizumi murmured against Oikawa’s shoulder, lips leaving behind a wet trail as he tasted Oikawa’s skin.

“No problem,” Oikawa said, voice breathy and light.

He had his leg up again, hanging over Iwaizumi’s arm as he reached to the pocket of his coat. With a victorious smile he produced a small tube of lubricant.

“Why on earth do you carry lube in your pocket?” Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa smirked.

“For emergencies,” he said.

“Why would you need it in your pocket?” Iwaizumi rephrased the question, letting Oikawa’s leg fall.

“Why not?” Oikawa shrugged. “What? You think it’s too slutty to be prepared at all times?”

“Slutty,” Iwaizumi repeated.

He looked at Oikawa’s naked chest, glanced down to see how hard he had become, cock heavy and fat already dripping pre-come.

“Slut,” Iwaizumi said again. “You’re a slut.”

Oikawa’s face dropped.

“What did you say?” he gasped.

Iwaizumi looked him in the eyes.

“You’re a fucking slut.”

Oikawa’s lip trembled before his face tightened, jaw pointing out and head slightly turned up so he could look down at Iwaizumi. He breathed heavily through his nose, nostrils flaring.

Then he pushed Iwaizumi away, hand making contact with his shoulder, before striding into his room. The door slammed shut, and there was silence.

Iwaizumi stood there for a long time, stunned by his own words. He was surprised by the new feeling that had flooded him the moment Oikawa had said the word slutty. He couldn’t bring himself to move. He was horrified by what was going through his head, and he wanted it to stop.

Oikawa had never been shy about his relationships, never shy about his sex life, and Iwaizumi knew exactly how many different people the man had slept with. Never before had he thought badly of Oikawa for having an active sex life, had never even thought that there was something wrong with it until now.

 _What the hell is wrong with me?_ Iwaizumi asked himself, knowing the answer full well: he was jealous of everyone else Oikawa had looked at with his flirty smile and the eyes that would melt ice. Every new relationship had felt like a personal insult, although he had hidden those feelings under a good layer of thoughts such as “Oikawa deserves to be happy” and “Oikawa’s happiness makes me happy too.” He could have had his own share of relationships if he had been able to forget about his feelings for Oikawa, the tiny ray of hope that would always raise its head when someone flirted with him, asked him out or simply suggested sex; maybe Oikawa would one day notice him, maybe one day they could be together the way Oikawa was together with his current girlfriend or the boyfriend he had the next week.

Iwaizumi leaned forward until his forehead touched the wall. Just a short while ago Oikawa had been leaning on that same wall, that same spot, and Iwaizumi had felt like he was complete.

 _But_ , the annoying voice insisted on continuing, _what has he wanted from you other than sex_?

The fact that Oikawa had lube in his coat pocket was a surprise, and Iwaizumi didn’t know what to think about it. Did it mean that Oikawa was really always ready to fuck, that he didn’t care where it happened, when?

Iwaizumi weakly banged his fist on the wall before retreating to his bedroom. Iwaizumi could hear Oikawa crying bitterly, and couldn’t sleep a wink that night.

*

It was cold. Oikawa wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t talking. Iwaizumi didn’t try to make him talk, didn’t try to get his attention, didn’t try anything. How does one apologise for saying something so awful to the person they loved the most? They didn’t acknowledge one another in any way, eyes never meeting, and Iwaizumi had his head hung low whenever Oikawa was around. Iwaizumi even stopped meeting their mutual friends, completely pulling himself away from Oikawa’s life.

Maybe it was better. Oikawa would get back on his feet eventually and find someone else, someone better and more suited for his needs. Iwaizumi’s chest felt raw, there was an ache inside him that wouldn’t disappear at any time, and he would probably have to live with it for the rest of his life.

It had been three days and neither had said a word during that time. Iwaizumi was sitting in his bedroom, crouched over his desk and pretending to study. He couldn’t stop listening to the soft sounds of Oikawa living in the same apartment, the way each noise proved that Oikawa was there. He let his body slide lower until his chest was resting over the desk.

A knock on his door startled him and he jolted upright, back going stiff and unmoving.

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa said through the door, his voice hesitant and small, too small to be coming from him.

Iwaizumi grunted in acknowledgement of his name.

“I’m going to move out,” Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi’s stomach flipped, and before he could stop himself he had already crossed the room and opened the door, eyes wide as he faced Oikawa for the first time in days.

“What?” he asked, feeling highly unintelligent at the moment.

“I’m going to move out,” Oikawa repeated.

His voice was even rawer now that Iwaizumi heard it up close. He was pale, eyes rimmed red, and Iwaizumi wondered if he had been crying just recently.

“Why?” he asked, unable to fully process what was going on.

“I’m sure it’s no good for your image to share a home with a whore like me,” Oikawa said, and to Iwaizumi’s horror he looked absolutely serious. “You probably want someone who’s more decent.”

Iwaizumi opened his mouth but didn’t know what to say. Every one of his thoughts was trying to come out together, ending up as a grey matter of ideas that could not be put into words.

“I’m sorry,” Oikawa said. “I didn’t realise you had a problem with my sex life.”

Iwaizumi still couldn’t speak, but he noticed the little twitch in Oikawa’s body, how the man was about to turn around and go, leave for good, and this was the last change he had to make things right. So Iwaizumi reached out to Oikawa, hands landing on his shoulders and keeping him still.

Oikawa looked at him, and the sadness in his eyes made Iwaizumi hurt even more than he was already hurting.

Iwaizumi wildly shook his head, trying to find the right words to say. He desperately wanted to make things right, he desperately needed to make Oikawa smile again. The man standing next to him was an empty shell of what used to be.

Oikawa pulled away from Iwaizumi’s hold, just a simple step backwards.

“No,” Iwaizumi gasped.

“I already asked Hanamaki to let me stay with him until I find a new place,” Oikawa said. “I’ll keep paying my half of the rent until I do.”

“No,” Iwaizumi repeated and took a step closer to Oikawa. “You can’t go.”

“It’s okay,” Oikawa said. “Makki doesn’t mind having some company for a while.

“No, you don’t understand,” Iwaizumi said, taking a hold of Oikawa’s shoulders again. “Tooru, you can’t go because I need you.”

Oikawa’s face twisted in pain and he burst to tears.

“Iwa-chan, I wish it was true,” he sobbed. “I wish I could be your perfect boyfriend, all innocent and clean. I’m sorry I’ve tainted myself for you.”

“No,” Iwaizumi said again, still trying to find the words he needed. “Please, let me explain.”

“It’s okay, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said. “I understand why you feel that way. I really do.”

“You don’t fucking understand anything!” Iwaizumi yelled.

Oikawa gasped and stared at Iwaizumi with tears in his eyes and mouth open.

“I don’t think that way,” Iwaizumi said. “I don’t think that at all. Please, hear me out. I need you to listen.”

Oikawa closed his mouth, lips trembling, but he nodded. He took a hold of Iwaizumi’s wrist and gently pulled him to the living room, where they sat on the sofa. Oikawa let go of Iwaizumi, but before he could pull his hand away Iwaizumi snatched a hold of it with both hands. He took a deep breath, still struggling to put his thoughts together.

“I know you can never forgive me,” Iwaizumi said, “but I’m sorry I said something so awful to you.”

Oikawa didn’t reply but he was looking at Iwaizumi.

“I don’t really think that, I promise,” Iwaizumi said. “I don’t think you’re a slut. I think you’re an amazing person with a lot of feelings and probably a bad luck in love.”

Oikawa was looking down at the way Iwaizumi held his hand.

“Then how could you say that to me?” he asked weakly.

“I was already having a bad day,” Iwaizumi tried to explain hoping that it wouldn’t sound like he was coming up with excuses. “I was thinking about us, and I was scared, and.”

Iwaizumi took a moment to breathe, to wet his lips before looking at Oikawa who had lifted his head again.

“I was so jealous,” he said. “You don’t even know for how many years I’ve been in love with you, and all I could ever do was try to cheer for you when you were with someone else.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Oikawa asked, a hint of irritation in his voice.

“How could I have told you?” Iwaizumi asked. “I thought you would never see me that way. I didn’t want to make it awkward.”

Oikawa sniffed, still looking irritated.

“Look,” Iwaizumi continued. “I know there’s absolutely no excuse for saying something so bad. I take full responsibility for my actions. Just please, don’t hate me.”

Oikawa’s eyes were filling with tears again. He looked at the wall across from them, brows slightly furrowed and nose whistling slightly.

“I don’t think I could ever hate you, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said quietly. “But I’m not sure why you think that you’re the only one who has suffered here.”

“Huh?” was the only thing Iwaizumi could say.

His thoughts had already been a mess, and they were now getting messier by the minute.

“You speak like you suffered a great injustice,” Oikawa said, “and sure, maybe you did. But did you ever consider that perhaps all my relationships failed because I kept comparing every fucking person to you?”

Iwaizumi opened his mouth only to close it.

“You know,” Oikawa continued, “maybe all these years I was under the illusion that you were straight as an arrow, saving yourself to the right girl or whatever, and that I would have no chance because I wasn’t born with boobs.”

“Why would you think that?” Iwaizumi asked.

Oikawa shrugged.

“Haven’t you noticed how much people assume when they don’t know the answer?” he simply asked.

Iwaizumi bit his lip in shame. He had been too preoccupied with himself to properly consider Oikawa’s feelings.

“So, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa continued with an irritated note still evident in his voice. “Why were you having a bad day? As far as I remember _I_ was the one who was suddenly left hanging with no explanation when you locked yourself in the bathroom before disappearing for hours.”

Iwaizumi slowly let go of Oikawa’s hand, turning his body slightly away.

“Because I was afraid that you were just playing a game with me,” he said quietly, madly hoping that Oikawa wouldn’t hear everything he said. “No, because I was certain that you don’t love me and that it’s all just a big joke to you.”

From the corner of his eye Iwaizumi saw how Oikawa shook his head in disbelief and scratched his jaw before turning his burning eyes at him.

“And why the hell would you think that?” he asked so angrily that Iwaizumi cowered away. “What kind of a shitty person do you think I am, huh?”

“But there are all these things,” Iwaizumi tried to explain.

“What things?” Oikawa asked, nearly yelling now. “How you light up the room, how I can’t help but smile when I even think about you? How I make love to you?”

Iwaizumi flinched with each question.

“Why,” he tried, but had to stop to breathe around the lump in his throat. “Why have we never gone on a proper date?”

Oikawa was now leaning towards him, and he found it almost too intimidating to bear.

“I thought there was no need to rush it since we already hang out so much,” Oikawa said, voice lowering to a near hiss. “You know, how we already know what we both like and dislike, how we fucking live together? I figured we could wait until we both have more free time to keep the relationship stress-free.”

Iwaizumi wasn’t entirely sure if he was nodding or if his head was only swaying because of how intense Oikawa’s presence was right beside him.

“So, what else is there, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked, spitting his name out like a curse.

“Uh,” Iwaizumi swallowed. “Why won’t you hold my hand when we’re out?”

Oikawa pulled back and Iwaizumi turned to see surprise on his face.

“I didn’t realise you wanted to,” Oikawa said. “I thought you might want to be more discreet, you know, so people won’t talk.”

“What would they possibly say?” Iwaizumi asked.

“You’re forgetting that until recently I thought you were straight,” Oikawa explained. “I thought that maybe I didn’t know because it was an image you wanted to preserve in public.”

“But I kept dropping hints,” Iwaizumi tried to insist.

“What hints?” Oikawa asked. “Hands accidentally brushing together when we walk? I figured it was simply what happens when two people walk so close to each other. You should have just taken my hand!”

Iwaizumi felt his cheeks heating up. He had never felt more humiliated in his life. Maybe it would have been good for him to date a few times, just to learn how to properly communicate his feelings.

“Or were you too shy?” Oikawa suddenly asked, leaning closer and trying to catch Iwaizumi’s eye. “Was my virgin boyfriend too shy to initiate handholding?”

“Shut up, you dumbass,” Iwaizumi tried but couldn’t help his voice coming out weak as his cheeks were burning.

“Was there still something else?” Oikawa asked. “Something that can be explained if you just thought a bit instead of being such a stubborn mule?”

Iwaizumi couldn’t stand how he could still see Oikawa looking at him even though he was looking away, so he turned his head more.

“Why then,” he asked, “are we never in my room? Why are we always in your bed?”

The question was faced with silence, and eventually Iwaizumi had to turn to look at Oikawa. He was surprised to see how pink Oikawa’s cheeks had gotten, and how the man was looking down at his hands that were rubbing together in meaningless motion.

“Because it’s your room, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said quietly. “It’s overwhelming to be there, because it’s the place where you are so fully present.”

Iwaizumi had to lift his hands onto his cheeks to hopefully cool them down a bit. He wasn’t used to seeing Oikawa look so shy, and he would probably never get used to it.

“Besides,” Oikawa said and smirked suddenly, “I wasn’t sure if you have lube and stuff, so it was always easier to go to my room where I know where everything is.”

Iwaizumi glowered at Oikawa.

“Of course I have lube,” he said. “How do you think I would use all my toys if I didn’t?”

The look on Oikawa’s face was scandalised.

“Iwa-chan has toys?” he gasped. “You have sex toys? And you use them?”

“Uh,” Iwaizumi tried to come up with something to say, but his thoughts had frozen yet again.

He wished that he would sink into the sofa and never be seen again.

“I thought you were a prude,” Oikawa said, making Iwaizumi’s brow twitch in irritation. “Seems that I was completely wrong.”

Iwaizumi didn’t say anything. He and Oikawa looked at each other, Oikawa seeming thoughtful, and Iwaizumi trying to not think about what the man was thinking about.

“So,” Oikawa said finally, looking like he snapped back to reality. “What’s going to happen next?”

Iwaizumi didn’t know what to say. His heart had probably stopped working completely, and his head was still racing with so many thoughts he couldn’t quite voice them.

“Do you think you could bear dating a slut like me?” Oikawa asked.

His face was blushing as he smiled shyly. Iwaizumi gulped.

“Are you sure I’m good enough?” he asked in return.

“Hajime,” Oikawa said, causing Iwaizumi’s heart to jump. “You were always good enough.”

Oikawa leaned closer to stroke Iwaizumi’s hair.

“I always wanted no one else but you,” Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi looked as hard as he could, but he couldn’t find any trace of dishonesty in Oikawa’s eyes. What he found, instead, was soft fondness, the kind of love he had always only dreamed about.

“If you’ll still have me,” Iwaizumi said and reached out to place his hand over Oikawa’s, “then I’ll be all yours.”

“Yes, please,” Oikawa smiled and leaned closer to kiss Iwaizumi.

It was soft and warm, and Iwaizumi felt his heart come back to life. Oikawa shifted their hands to take a hold of his, the hand in his hair sliding to the back of his head to keep him close even after they broke the kiss.

“Iwa-chan, you may be an idiot,” Oikawa said, lips brushing Iwaizumi’s mouth with each word, “but you’re my idiot.”

As much as Iwaizumi wanted to reply with annoyance he couldn’t help melting under Oikawa’s gaze. So he pressed their lips together again, over and over again, hands finding their way onto Oikawa’s body, into his hair.

“I’m sorry I’m not good at this relationship stuff,” he said quietly.

“It’s okay,” Oikawa said, nuzzling his nose against Iwaizumi’s. “I can’t say I’m any better.”

Then Oikawa pulled Iwaizumi closer, bodies fitting together as they kissed, hot and deep. Oikawa spread his legs to make room for Iwaizumi, who happily slid against the firm body of his lover. Oikawa’s arms were around him, pulling him closer as he continued exploring the man’s mouth with thick licks of his tongue, tasting the need in the way Oikawa was starting to move his body against him. He broke the kiss and chuckled at the way Oikawa whined.

“You’re only thinking about sex, aren’t you,” Iwaizumi mumbled, lips brushing against the sensitive spot on Oikawa’s neck.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said, already panting slightly. “I’ve been waiting for years to be fucked by you. Please, I promise I’ll take you on a date tomorrow.”

Iwaizumi sniggered and opened his mouth to suck on the spot that made Oikawa moan.

“At least take me to bed,” he said, a string of saliva still connecting him to Oikawa’s skin.

Oikawa scurried up so fast he nearly tripped, pulling Iwaizumi towards his room. He then seemed to have a change of heart, turned around, and opened the door to Iwaizumi’s room instead. He looked at Iwaizumi with slight hesitance, and Iwaizumi didn’t waste any time kissing him again, pushing him towards the bed and stopping right before it to undress the man whose body was heating up under his touch.

When Oikawa was naked, Iwaizumi pushed him down onto the bed and undressed himself. After kicking the final sock off, he stopped for a moment to look at the way Oikawa was stretched on his bed in all his nude glory, chest moving with his breaths and pink nipples looking soft and inviting. Iwaizumi admired the way Oikawa’s skin was taught over his muscles, how his hips curved just slightly, how he looked so strong and inviting. Finally, Iwaizumi turned to look at the way his cock was hard and heavy between his legs, just waiting to be teased.

“Come on, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said and smiled. “Are you waiting for me to beg?”

Iwaizumi flashed a smile at the man before turning to grab a bottle of lube from his closet and making his way to the bed. Oikawa spread his legs with a smirk and Iwaizumi settled between them, sliding a hand up Oikawa’s leg to his hips.

“You have no patience today,” he said and uncapped the lube.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whined. “I’ve been patient for years!”

“I’m not sure I would call that patience,” Iwaizumi mumbled and poured lube over his fingers.

Oikawa pouted cutely, and Iwaizumi reached his clean hand to stroke his cheek. He then focused on Oikawa’s ass, and Oikawa immediately lifted his legs up to present himself to him.

“So eager,” Iwaizumi couldn’t help remarking as he stroked a slick finger over the entrance, earning him an excited twitch.

“Always for Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said, voice coming out slightly strained as Iwaizumi continued to slide his fingers over the pucker.

Iwaizumi hummed and pushed a finger against the hole strong enough to make it open for him, but didn’t properly insert his finger to keep teasing the man whose legs were shaking slightly and who was already moaning quietly. He was pleased to hear the whimper that rose from Oikawa’s chest at his actions. He didn’t want to have Oikawa complain again, however, so the next time he pressed hard enough to push his finger all the way inside. The way Oikawa’s hips swayed at that was an excellent reward, and suddenly Iwaizumi found it hard to wait. He wiggled the finger around for a while before he was already pushing a second digit inside, looking at the way Oikawa’s ass was stretching to accommodate them.

Oikawa was grabbing his legs tighter, eyes closed and whining.

“Was it too soon?” Iwaizumi asked, although he didn’t stop fucking Oikawa with his two fingers, scissoring them open to stretch the hole further.

“Perfect, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa moaned. “It’s perfect.”

Oikawa opened his eyes to look at him, pupils blown wide and a smile on his lips. Iwaizumi couldn’t decide what to look at: Oikawa’s face or the way his ass was pulling on his fingers.

“Hurry, Iwa-chan, hurry,” Oikawa groaned.

Iwaizumi looked at the way Oikawa was so tight around his fingers.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, but Oikawa answered with a needy whine.

After a moment’s hesitation Iwaizumi pushed a third finger inside, the tightness forcing his fingers together as he slowly let them slide farther, opening Oikawa for him.

“It’s enough,” Oikawa said.

Iwaizumi raised his brows in disagreement and didn’t listen. He continued sliding his fingers in and out, wiggling them to loosen the way Oikawa was gripping him with such force. He stroked the soft walls in search of the best spot, but couldn’t quite locate it. Oikawa’s knuckles were turning white with how tightly he was holding his legs, and Iwaizumi wondered if he would really be able to satisfy the man when he was completely inexperienced in pleasuring someone else.

Before doubt could overtake him, Iwaizumi pulled his fingers out and smiled at the way Oikawa’s asshole gaped slightly before closing. He reached over to his bedside table to get a condom, but was stopped by Oikawa taking a hold of his arm.

“Iwa-chan,” the man said, out of breath and leg slowly lowering onto the bed. “I want you to come inside.”

Iwaizumi tried to argue, but Oikawa pressed a finger onto his lips to silence him.

“I want to feel you fill me with your come,” he said. “I promise I’m clean. I went to get tested right after we got together.”

Iwaizumi was suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the entire situation. He sat back on the bed and took a deep breath.

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked and raised his upper body to better look at his boyfriend. “What’s wrong?”

Iwaizumi wasn’t sure how to put it into words, so he remained quiet, fiddling with his fingers. Oikawa sat up and took a gentle hold of his hands.

“What’s worrying you?” he asked.

Iwaizumi didn’t look up immediately. When he did, he was faced with the kind of loving that made his heart flip.

“Do you,” Oikawa started slowly. “Do you want to stop?”

Iwaizumi shook his head. He still wasn’t sure how to explain his feelings, but because he had promised Oikawa to be better at communicating his thoughts he decided to put it as simply as he could.

“Am I any good for you?” he said, voice wavering slightly.

Oikawa pulled him into a tight hug.

“Iwa-chan,” he whispered. “Hajime, I’m pretty sure you could make me come even without touching me, that’s how much I want you.”

Oikawa kissed Iwaizumi’s neck before pulling back just slightly to look him in the eyes.

“Besides, you’re not alone,” he said. “I’m here with you. If you don’t want to be in charge, I can do it. If you’re not sure what to do, I can tell you. If you don’t want to do something, then you don’t have to do it and I’ll be fine with it.”

Iwaizumi rested his forehead against Oikawa’s. Listening to Oikawa’s words was making him feel more at ease.

“Do you know what I want?” Oikawa asked. “I want you, Hajime. I want you to fuck me the way you have always dreamed about fucking me. Can you do it?”

Iwaizumi breathed in before raising his head and nodding. Oikawa responded with a smile, and Iwaizumi kissed him once before pushing him back down. Oikawa spread his legs again and Iwaizumi spread lube over his cock. He wasn’t completely hard anymore, but the way Oikawa was looking at him with eager anticipation heightened the feeling of his own strokes, and soon he felt that he was good to go again.

With careful hands Iwaizumi took a hold of Oikawa’s legs, lifted them over his own knees before lining his cock with Oikawa’s entrance.

“Yes,” he heard Oikawa gasp as his tip pushed inside.

Iwaizumi couldn’t take his eyes off Oikawa’s ass, watching how the hole widened around his cock as he pushed inside. He stroked the edge of Oikawa’s entrance with his thumb, making Oikawa jerk slightly. He pushed his cock all the way inside before stopping for a moment. Oikawa was tight around him, twitching and tightening as he couldn’t stop his body from squirming with the feeling of being filled.

“Iwa-chan, finally,” Oikawa said, not much louder than a whisper.

Iwaizumi hesitated again. He tried to fight away all the doubts that were trying to attack him by thinking about the last time he had thought about Oikawa writhing beneath him as he fucked deep into his ass. He gently rolled his hips to test how it felt. Oikawa moaned encouragingly, and he watched how the skin around his hole moved when he pulled out or pushed in. He placed his hands on Oikawa’s hips, mapping the skin with his fingers, and Oikawa’s balls were touching his stomach when he leaned just a bit forward.

Slowly Iwaizumi started moving, taking his time to adjust his position slightly to make it easier for him to thrust into Oikawa, who was already moaning with each movement.

“Are you trying to encourage me?” he couldn’t help asking.

Oikawa shook his head.

“Iwa-chan, I’m so happy,” he said and moaned.

“What happened to Hajime?” Iwaizumi mumbled as he quickened the pace of his thrusts slightly.

“Ha-,” Oikawa breathed through his moans. “You want me to call you Hajime while you fuck me?”

“As if I care,” Iwaizumi replied and pushed in sharply, causing Oikawa to arch his back and moan even louder. “Dumbass.”

Oikawa didn’t even try to talk anymore, moving his hips to meet Iwaizumi’s thrusts, to get his cock deeper each time. Iwaizumi moved his hands from Oikawa’s hips to his waist, gaining speed and allowing himself to stop worrying, only listening to the pleasure building up inside him. Oikawa reached out a hand to slide it down Iwaizumi’s arm before stopping where it was resting on Oikawa’s body. He was moaning beautifully, eyes fluttering shut every now and then but gaze fixed on Iwaizumi’s face.

Iwaizumi leaned over a bit more, slid his hands to Oikawa’s chest and rubbed the pink nipples with his thumbs. Oikawa arched his back, body pushing closer to each touch and mouth hanging open. Iwaizumi felt the heat in his lower belly, how it was getting harder to control the way his body moved, balls tightening, the burning pleasure on his cock as Oikawa squeezed around it, as it slid inside Oikawa, how Oikawa’s nipples were puffy and pink.

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi managed to say before groaning, hips snapping forcefully inside. “I’m coming.”

“Yes,” Oikawa breathed and tightened his ass.

Iwaizumi pushed just a few more times before his orgasm hit, and he released inside Oikawa, painting his walls white as he moaned and mouthed on Oikawa’s chest.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa moaned, hands finding a hold of Iwaizumi’s shoulders and fingers pressing into the flesh.

Oikawa’s body swayed with Iwaizumi’s movements as he was milked of all of his come and shook above his boyfriend. He stopped moving and felt Oikawa let go of his shoulder with on hand, the hand snaking between their bodies to take a hold of his dripping cock.

Iwaizumi wanted to help him but found his limbs heavy, so he focused all his energy on remaining where he was and not collapsing over Oikawa to stop him from jerking himself. He moved his mouth over a nipple to suck it inside, lick over it and play with it as Oikawa’s hand was feverishly moving, moans breaking in his throat.

When Oikawa came he closed his eyes and Iwaizumi looked at the way satisfaction washed over his face. He could feel Oikawa’s hand still over his cock, sliding as he rocked his hips to ride out his pleasure. When he finally relaxed, Iwaizumi carefully pulled out. Oikawa grunted and let go of his cock, wiping his hand on his belly before properly opening his eyes and looking at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi had settled on the bed next to him.

“Would it be weird to say that I’ve never been this happy after sex?” Oikawa asked, cheeks flushed and a wide smile on his face.

Iwaizumi had to look away to keep his thoughts in some kind of order.

“Not necessarily,” he mumbled.

“Oh, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa exclaimed and rolled over to hug Iwaizumi close.

“Dumbass,” Iwaizumi protested. “You’re getting all your come on me too.”

Oikawa smirked and only rubbed their bodies closer together, the sticky fluid making obscene sounds as Oikawa’s belly slid over Iwaizumi’s.

“Don’t worry, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said, nuzzling his nose to Iwaizumi’s cheek. “I’ll wash you.”

“You don’t have to,” Iwaizumi tried, but knew that there was no way to stop Oikawa when he got on this mood.

Iwaizumi wiped a strand of hair off Oikawa’s face and smiled.

“You’re happy too, aren’t you, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa asked, a hint of worry in his eyes.

“I’ve never been happier,” Iwaizumi said, completely truthfully.

He hugged Oikawa back and closed his eyes with a smile.

**Author's Note:**

> Facts that I couldn't naturally fit in: Oikawa shaves all of his bodyhair. Oikawa is actually a bottom, but doesn't mind topping. Iwaizumi prefers topping but loves butt pulgs. He and Oikawa haven't had time to fuck properly because they've both been busy with studies and volleyball. Mattsun goes to the same school as they do but Makki doesn't.
> 
> This is the third time I'm saying this, but next month I will be doing NaNoWriMo, which means that I will be focusing on original fiction and willl (hopefully) not even think about writing fics. I still have a few days before November, let's see if I get to post this same info for the fourth time! If not, I'll be back in December.
> 
> I have [a dedicated writing blog](http://mean-whalewrites.tumblr.com) but also sometimes talk about writing [on twitter](http://twitter.com/mean_whale), but to follow me on twitter please be over 18!


End file.
